“Women resist this understanding [men’s commonplace sexual violence] because it directly threatens the commonly held goal of having a happy and healthy relationship. If you understand the extent to which men hate you, how will you ever find your dream guy?” Andrea Dworkin, Intercourse.
I read 37 books this year. I went vegan, I’m sober, medicated, freshly 4B and have a one-way flight to Tokyo for June. Isn’t that crazy? tangtang Japan correspondent. I have taken on acupuncture and herbal remedies and have consumed perhaps six paracetamols just today. Damn you super-flu! My acupressure stickers can only do so much.
My loyal readership, this was the year I cemented my life goals and the year I perfected peace (and got half my back tattooed, great heavens.) Most people do not wake up and decide to dedicate their lives to non-profit work for women in developing areas and war zones. Except I closed Intercourse by Dworkin and all my life’s gender studies consumed me in a big cocoon of rage and I emerged Winx-style Enchantix type shit with the fairy dust but for women’s rights. Quote for you: “It is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” With Public Policy in my near future, I will be making it everyone’s problem to be fully conscious of the Horrors. Business as usual.
As well as that, I’ve been further enlightened this year on dating, as half of the Brighton population under 25 may know I have never interested in dating per se, but I had even more enlightenment. As tangtang readers may be aware, the sex and relationships aspect of this zine has taken hold very strongly. This year, Hannah got into a loving committed relationship (with a man who I am fond of in a distant uncle in Tudor times whose wealth and status allows me to live as a Bride Of Christ sort of way. The sort of fondness one has for a family relative you saw once when you were 8 but sends you a birthday message every year), and I continued my exploits which I embark on to entertain my friends with like a court jester. My enlightenment was that I need to stop having sex because I’m bored and pick up a fourth language or something. I find relationships an astounding waste of time and should I ever hope for one (Lord please exempt me from this horror), I would like it to be a twice-a-week encounter for Tuesday lunch and Friday dinner. The only relationship I support involving a man is that of Hannah and my uncle-in-spirit Ed.
In my prophetic dreams, I divine a quiet start to 2026, a time for personal learning (please allow me one month without material for the memoir). But upon my departure to another continent and inherent permanently offline pursuits, I will have much to speak on, I’m sure. In my crystal orb I see you all devoting yourselves to art and music and friendship (drop that evil man.)
My 2026 will be filled with Patti Smith on vinyl, loose leaf tea from Hannah (thank you Hannah), and unshakeable peace. Soon to come: unreachability. If God permits it, I’ll be setting up a landline and living in a Tokyo love hotel from summer on. Stay tuned for my travel diaries from Alabama and Louisiana in March, further notes on sex, love, and grief also coming soon.
My new year’s resolutions below:
- beat my goodreads goal
- sternum tattoo
- join heavy metal band
- more sobriety
- publish more work
There will be much discourse particularly in the new year about allowing yourself to take a step back from news cycles and the horrors happening around the world. Rape, child soldiers, decapitations, immolation. There will be a call to allow yourself to choose peace and calm, to prioritise your wellbeing. Don’t do that shit. In the best of cases, find it in your heart to advocate for yourself as a woman (and for the love of God, drop that evil man, I will not say it a third time). A tangtang reader’s greatest act of rebellion is finally relinquishing that horrid deep-rooted self-despising. It’s cold outside. Stay in touch with the horrors, plee.
This festive season, educate the men you love, if they don’t already come pre-educated (and consider why you love the men who do not come pre-educated in the age of free internet access). Gift them the work of Andrea Dworkin, gift The Second Sex. Grow closer to the women in your lives, begin holding hands and filling the need for closeness with your sisters and your close friends. Wear red on New Year’s Eve.
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